This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.